First Impressions: Castrati AU
Dec. 10th, 2018 12:20 amSun streamed in through the windows and Harry glanced out, wrenching his eyes away from Jeff. The flashing sites were so familiar, as was the clarion lilt of people speaking Italian, expressive and elongated, yet lightening fast, filtering into his ears. It undulated as they passed the docks, workmen launching crates at each other along with their cries, refrains of shipments and numbers a triumphant, cacophonous chorus. Peddlers wound their way through their list of wares, voices circling up and around, vibrating with anticipation as people approached them. The successful ones trilled their thanks, while their competitors cursed, their frustration a harsh refrain. Nowhere else in the world sounded like Naples—its cadences and crescendos mimicking the grounded, explosive potential of Vesuvius. London was all bark; harsh, clipped words. Paris was an incessant twitter of tongues, and Berlin, with its gruff, scraping growls, was even worse.
Harry’s heart ached at hearing and understanding the snippets that floated in. Words and emotions immediately registered instead of jangling, loud and unparsed, unable to be translated. Suddenly his loneliness in London was achingly clear, even his ears had been deprived of hearing, understanding what was happening in the world around him. But, was it better to be here, to know and to be known? In Naples his name and story, the dirty, intimate details of his past, could not be erased by the sound of his voice, the sweep of his skirt, or the slow curve of his most seductive smile.
Harry leaned his forehead against the window for a moment, his jaw clattering with the shaky vibrations. The horses swerved a little, to avoid a cart that stopped suddenly in their path, and Harry’s head banged against the thick glass. Cursing, and rubbing his temple, Harry laid it on the plush cushion instead. He knows he’d been petulant in putting off his travel arrangements until the last moment, and now only he is suffering. Jeff has been back for two weeks, and while Harry slept for ages last night in his massive, soft bed, one good night’s rest after a fortnight of tiresome travel was certainly insufficient. His voice was fine, though. He’d warmed up a little this morning before joining Jeff for some pastries and coffee. Rehearsal wasn’t supposed to go past midafternoon, anyway, so he wasn’t concerned about it tiring out.
Soon they arrived at the theater, and Jeff sprung back to life. He jumped out of the carriage and immediately began talking with the people who were milling about by the door. Harry descended as well, taking the hand that was offered to him, but the wooden steps they had provided were unsteady, and he slipped, losing his balance. Suddenly second pair of hands grasped his other arm. Harry righted himself and stepped fully onto the ground. Jeff had paused, but once he saw Harry standing on firm ground, he resumed his rapid-fire conversation. Harry looked over to see who had kept him from falling, and was met with two bright blue eyes, searing with an intensity that startled him.
“Thank you,” Harry said, stepping further away from the carriage, and brushing his over both of his sleeves.
“It was my pleasure,” the man murmured, his Italian smooth and natural, but lacking the sunny, southern sound of a Neapolitan.
Harry took him in with a glance, serviceable shoes, utilitarian clothes, a pale, pleasing face with a brow that looked like it was made for furrowing. He thought he might be one of the musicians, perhaps a cellist. He could be a possibility, but once Harry decides to forgive Jeff he’ll probably be preoccupied with him for a while, instead of searching for new lovers. But still, it’s worth noting.
“I think I need to go inside now, but thank you again,” Harry said, blinking slowly as he gave the man a final, wandering look of distant appreciation. He walked over to Jeff and they made their way inside. Harry pondered the man’s eyes again as he scraped the mud off his boots, tapping his heel against the bristles a few more times than necessary. Jeff put his hand on the small of Harry’s back as they made their way towards the stage, and Harry felt the weight through his coat, thumb digging in a little as he guided them around a corner. Jeff showed him the dressing room briefly, but they had to go straight to the stage to meet Niall, the maestro who had somehow convinced Jeff to wrench him from his comfortable life in Paris and drag him all the way back across the continent to Naples.
Harry had been so incensed by Jeff’s determination for him to return that he had not exerted effort into finding anything out about Niall. Jeff had given him no details, only that his music was meant for Harry to sing. On his final night in London, Kendall had taken him out to a dinner party. During the cheese course one of the guests mentioned something about Niall, saying that he was apparently very young. He hadn’t said anything else, though, and Harry had gotten distracted by Kendall running her hand up and down his inner thighs. Now that Harry was here, being marched down the corridors with Jeff an insistent presence at his side, he regretted his lack of preparation. Who was Niall going to be? What would he expect from Harry? How young was he actually—not very many young composers were able to attract Jeff’s attention, and with it recruit the most celebrated voice of the decade, if not century.
Harry was starting to spin a bit, in his mind, toying absently with the thick rings on his fingers, when a door swung open in front of him and he stepped out onto the stage, his footsteps suddenly echoing in the space. The room was fully lit, the rows of empty seats stretching out in front of him, around him, above him. Harry inhaled softly, nostrils flaring as he took it in. The guilt, the paintings, the candles flickering in elaborate brass sconces that gleamed and reflected the light like mirrors. It was beautiful. Already he felt the zing in his spine, his shoulders spread a little further, his head lifted a little higher. This stage was everything he’d imagined it would be, when he sat in the audience as a little boy who loved to sing, or as a teenager who lived to sing.
“Niall, it’s good to see you,” he heard Jeff say, and Harry turned, eyes drifting back down to the stage, to the man in front of him. It was the man from earlier, who’d caught him from falling. He smiled and stepped forward to shake his hand, and Harry’s palm enveloped his, fingers wrapping around in a gentle, but firm clasp.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Harry. Jeff has told me so much about you, and I am looking forward to working with you.”
“Hello,” Harry said, mind reeling to recalculate his assessment of Niall from earlier. Harry still couldn’t place his accent, and he wasn’t a cellist, he was the composer who had earned Jeff’s patronage. “You’re Niall? I didn’t realize.”
Niall shuffled back a little, wringing his hands. “Yes I’m, I should’ve introduced myself earlier, I apologize.”
“I see,” Harry said, his head fuzzy and tired, and wondering why was he here after traveling non-stop for two weeks to meet with a maestro who was barely out of puberty. “What do you want me to do? Where’s my music?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I left it down on the harpsichord, I thought you might want to sit down and talk a little bit before beginning rehearsal.”
“No thank you,” Harry sniffed. He could see Jeff rolling his eyes at him, but he didn’t care. He turned his unimpressed stare back to Niall. “I would prefer to just get this over with. I’ll sing, you can make your alterations, and then we can move on with our lives and prepare for this show to open. I have many things to attend to.”
“Preparations, other than rehearsing, you mean?” Niall asked, his eyes slowly beginning to lose their polite sheen.
“Certainly. I have been absent from Naples for quite some time. I have numerous, pressing social obligations now that I’ve returned.”
“I see,” Niall said. “Well in that case I will grab your music and we shall begin.”
Harry nodded curtly as Niall turned and hopped straight down into the pit, instead of descending the stairs. He heard a faint expletive as Niall landed, and then Jeff coughed loudly behind him.
“Harry, really?” he admonished. “Why are you being so difficult about this?”
Harry’s irritation increased, stretching taught like a bowstring, and then he snapped. “Just fucking leave, Jeff. You got me here, you win. But go away. I don’t want to see you right now.”
“Harry, stop being so unreasonable. I know you’re tired, but you’re behaving like a—”
“Like a what, Jeff?”
Jeff squeezed his eyes shut and exhaled. “Like a child,” he said, slowly, eyes opening and instantly apologetic.
“Fuck you,” Harry spat. Jeff winced and took a step back. “Harry I’m sorry.”
“Please go away,” Harry said, voice trembling a little. “I will sing, Jeff. But I don’t want you here.”
Jeff nodded. “The carriage will wait for you, and I’ll see you at home for supper. Is that alright with you?”
“Fine,” Harry said, turning away towards the sound of Niall climbing back out of the pit. He was carrying the score, along with an ornately carved, wooden music stand as well, hefting it up along the ladder with him. He managed to lever it up onto the stage and push it along the floor until it was securely balanced, before he swung himself up and out, wincing a little as he landed. Niall grabbed the music stand and stood, walking over towards the center of the stage and depositing the stand and the music.
“Niall, I’ve some business to attend to this morning, but I will catch up with you tomorrow, alright?” Jeff said, smoothly moving towards the door. Niall spun to look at him, brow furrowed.
“You’re leaving?”
“Yes, he is.” Harry said behind him, and Niall spun back around, looking a little bit dizzy.
“Will it be just the two of us then?” Harry asked, eyebrow arched condescendingly.
“Yes, just the two of us. The rest of the musicians are set to arrive next week.”
“Well then, let’s begin.”
Niall nodded and turned again, heading back to the pit. He didn’t jump this time but climbed slowly down the ladder to take his seat. The pit was fully open today, and Harry could see the harpsichord at an angle. When Niall sat down, he was entirely visible. He had pushed the cuffs of his sleeves further up, revealing wiry forearms covered in a dusting of fair hair that glinted a little in the candlelight. Niall opened his score and glanced over at Harry, indicating for him to do the same. As Harry unfolded the papers, he saw Niall slip his shoes off, sliding his stockinged feet onto the pedals. Harry sniffed at that, finding it utterly unrefined. What difference would a little bit of leather make in operating the pedals?
“Ready?” Niall asked, voice low and firm. Harry looked at him over the music, eyes narrowing to account for the low light in the pit.
“Yes. You may begin.”
Niall inclined his head in a mocking gesture and did just that, fingers flying over the keys as they passed through the introductory flourishes. His arpeggiation and trills were as standard and utilitarian as his clothes, and Harry rolled his eyes, cocking his hip to wait until he was supposed to come in. He eyed the first few measures of his part, but they were scribbled at the bottom of the page, and he didn’t bother flipping it. Harry couldn’t recall the last time he’d had difficulty sight reading. At the very least he’d land on a melody even better than what had originally been written, so he zoned out, listening to the rise and fall of the music, each chord proceeding as expected, until it was only a few measures away from his entrance. Harry straightened his posture and inhaled, feeling his lungs slowly expand with air until it was in his eyeballs and he paused, teetering on an explosive fullness of breath. And then, just as Niall’s fingers landed on an anticipatory amalgamation of notes, Harry was off, his voice bursting out of his chest.
Harry flipped the page lackadaisically and continued with his melody until suddenly it felt like he was tripping, a rug being wrenched out from under him. His eyes and his throat were out of sync and flopping onto notes that should be bounced across. His tongue felt like a wet fish, and he snapped his mouth shut just as Niall picked his fingers up off the keys.
“Shall we go back to your entrance?” Niall asked, face betraying no acknowledgement of Harry’s flub.”
Harry’s face flamed, and he nodded, refusing to say a word. Niall looked at him and breathed in slightly as Harry did, his fingers precise as they struck right as Harry began to sing. Harry’s eyes were glued to the page this time, scanning ahead as he ran through a series of triplets, looking forward to the run that had thrown him. He pulled it off fine that time, clinical in his approach, but he didn’t want to let his guard down now. They continued like that, Harry aggressively singing the lines, adding angular flourishes and trills in exactly all of the right spots. Niall’s playing was firm and stalwart, but there was a coiled strength to it, as though he were restraining himself from pushing the tempo or leaning too far into the dissonant chords.
Niall asked them to stop two times, taking brief notes on his copy while Harry waited, eyeing his fingernails. Each time they’d begin again, perfectly on sync, barely batting an eyelid. When they were halfway through the pages Niall had given him, Harry reached his first aria. He had a few bars of rest before it began, and as Niall plowed through them Harry inhaled, ready to finally find out what sort of person Niall was.
Harry pushed immediately, taking the run that Niall had sketched out and doubling it, going up an additional octave and winding his way down luxuriously, dallying around with some false cadences before descending the rest of the way. Next, he slowed down, taking the octave jumps that Niall had set up for him with an effortless glide. Niall was keeping up though, barely struggling with Harry’s acrobatics, so he continued, and pushed harder. Note for note, Niall matched him, never once getting out from under him, but running with him, letting him spin out before dragging him back in. The chased each other around and around, until Harry was barely even looking at the page, the notes flying out of his mouth without preparation or pre-consideration. He hit the climax with everything, voice ringing out through the hall as he held the note for what seemed like an eternity, and then a few heartbeats longer, his vibrato fully and shimmering until he trailed off into silence. When the note ended, Harry’s eyes fluttered shut and his breath bounced back into his lungs with a massive inhalation. Niall did not continue playing. Instead the vibrations of Harry’s last note lingered in the air, echoing across the empty room. Harry slowly opened his eyes, and Niall was staring at him, his jaw tensed, eyes calculating.
“Alright,” Niall said eventually, turning back to his music.
“Let’s pick it up right after the aria,” Harry said. Niall just nodded and began to play.